Reawaken Understanding: Awaken My Heart Weeks 19–27

I meant to post this in July but never realized it didn't get finished or go up. So here it is (after I referenced it in my last post).

Welcome back to the reawakening of my heart! These next really have a connecting thread of understanding. From listening to giving thanks all bring understanding or lead to understanding. This post will be a bit different from my other ones. These weeks went by in a blur so I am going to simply summmarzie one fruit from eacf the weeks (at least to the best of my ability. So let's begin with Week 19.

Week 19: Listen with Love

This week Wilson Hussem focuses on listening. She highlights the problem that is pervasive in our world today which is listening or lack thereof. I definitely fall prey to this ailment which manifests at least for me , mostly, in waiting to speak my piece. Yet there is one person who we can learn how to listen from: Jesus. Wilson Hussem points out that Jesus "never interjects his thoughts before [you] finish speaking...stops [you[ while [you] are speaking...listens to phrases or words here and there, excited to his point or advice in as soon as [you] are done" (99). Now, Jesus is the ideal, and it may often happen no matter how hard one tries this ideal will not meet it in some ways. Growth can happen and maybe to some degree this ideal does get met 'perfectly" in some people, but even the best listeners probably have his or her moments where he or she could have listened better. I think one large fruit I got from this week was simply the chance to realize that I often am so caught up in the practical considerations of how to let someone know I am listening that I may not actuallly be listening. The irony is that to work on listening I need to worry less about the actual presentation of the fact I am listening. Perhaps though It is really more rooted in my worry about other things and others' opinions and the need to unclench my fists in that moment.

Week 20: Unclench Your Fists

Honestly this was one of the hardest weeks of the devotional so far for me. This was about learning to let go of control. While I have been learning how to this more in the last several years, I know i still struggle with it very much. The imaginative prayer aspect of the one soul exercise made me realize just how afraid I am of unclenching my fists, not for the lack of desiring to do so per se, but because of one particular fear which I have been trying to work on over the past few months after really fully recognizing how deep it went. In somw ways this fear keeps me from living abundantly.

Week 21: Live Abundantly

While this weeks is entitled "live abundantly", the reflection mostly seemed to focus on how you wanted to be remembered. It was very much underpinned with a sense of momento mori (remember your death) and how that is connected to how you live now. I benefited much from reflecting on my experience of death or rather on how long i'd assume I'd live. I see that so much of that is complicated. While I seen both my grandmothers reach 90 (or older), I have also seem many young people die including a classmate of mine who died during my sophomore year in high school. I may not always be aware of the fact I could "die young", but even recalling the few moments in my life when I have seen or heard of younger people die have recalls that reality to me that I am not promised tomorrow and that I should live every day as if it were my last. I just need to take the first step and remember that more daily and weekly.

Week 22: Take the First Step

This week was about take the first step in a journey. I don’t really remember what the first step I did take was. But it did remind me that procrastination is never ideal.

Week 23: Call Them by Name

This week was about actively engaging with people such as cashiers or waitresses. I didn't go to the store or out eat at all this week so it was unfortunately not as fruitg for me.

Week 24: Feel Your Heart Beat

This week the soul excercise was to be attentive to your heart beat in prayer. I really loved doing this. I was in many ways peaceful and allowed to to lautento my own body as well.

Week 25: Let People Love You

This week was focused on allowing others to support you.i am not really sure what I did during this week or I really enterf into it so agian sorry no discernable fruit:

Week 26: Ask Jesus Who You Are

This week allowed Jesus to be the one to speak into one's identity. At times I found myself fighting the words likely because of past wounds. But it really was good to at least attempt to listen to hear what the Lord says of my identity.

Week 27: Give Thanks to the Lord

This week the reflection Wilson Hussem wrote was about the appreciation for water. She encourage research on thebwater crisis. I did not fulfill this task but I waa relatively successful at remembering to thank God when I washed my hands or did other things that involved water.

Overall these weeks were a mix of success and struggle but sometimes the fruit is the struggle.